Duncan Quotes: An Incomplete List
  • Let's start a collection of 'original' quotes by Duncan!
  • "Kids these days don't know how to use the psychedelics...you gotta heat the oils, man."
    "First there is a mountain/Then there is no mountain/Then there is."
  • "go get enlightened and dont talk about"
  • "I'm not saying that from time to time when someone's treating you poorly, you shouldn't duct-tape them, throw them in your trunk, take them out into the woods and fuck their mouth. You should do that. If you want good employees, from time to time you need to sexual assault them on the deepest level."

    Whenever I apply for a managerial position at a restaurant I use this quote from Duncan
  • This is a good thread! There was quite a few "zingers" from the old LH episodes!
    "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
    - Edgar Allan Poe
    photo columbo.gif
    www.josiahmilespitchforth.com
  • "The only thing more blue then a texas sky , is the beautiful blue of my grandmas eyes"
  • I love when he talked about using the tips of our feeding tubes to describe all of infinity. I think it was on the JRP
  • “Fuck this shit universe filled with festering blackness, and swarming with shallow, single-minded humans focused on crystallizing aspects of the material universe and putting it into their bank accounts, transmuting real experience into imaginary numbers, which then they ascribe to how good they’re doing, like some evil satanic score."
  • "I love being a carbon molecule."

    -Duncan Trussell
  • "Wait a minute... you can't be serious... everyone gather around... did you hear what Galileo just said?!?"
  • Brett said:

    "Wait a minute... you can't be serious... everyone gather around... did you hear what Galileo just said?!?"



    "I love my earth in the center of the universe."
  • "I love being a single cell orgainsm"
  • Keep em coming guys! I'll try and find some good ones
  • "You have to scrape off the bad." -Duncan Trussell on lobotomies.
  • "Beautiful flowers grow from the corpses of dead children", or something to that effect.
  • We're going to need a more powerful database to successfully house all of the great Duncan quotes from the Lav Hour. There are a ton, I thought about writing them down so I wouldn't forget them, lots of great thoughts in those archives.
    "Up above aliens hover, making home movies for the folks back home of all these weird creatures that lock up their spirits, drill holes in themselves, and live for their secrets. They're all uptight" -Radiohead
  • "Kill the vampire in your life"
    Wake the Zombies, Slay the Vampires and Banish the Sith Lords to Oblivion!
    BNet-WillahG
    willahg@yahoo.com
  • "I wanna see a fucking dragon" - in regard to taking LSD
    "I got stuck in a cravarse on the moun-tain."
  • Stig_AdminStig_Admin
    Black Rabbit of Inlé
    "I've got 99 problems, and they're all elves."
    I make websites sometimes, view my portfolio at Chromadile.com
  • "I've got 99 problems, and they're all elves."


    Hahaha, now that's a t-shirt!
    "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
    - Edgar Allan Poe
    photo columbo.gif
    www.josiahmilespitchforth.com
  • "There are so many dicks in this dimension, it's like Chatroulette. We live in the Chatroulette of dimensions."
  • Going off on a tangent related to the Tree Of Life: "Things like that are designed to make idiots feel like artists."
  • Duncan can fucking weave a metaphor.
  • anton is 3 under par
  • *trussell in the throws of niggerdom......
    bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
    they can lick on deeez nutz and suck tha dicks
  • I would stick my face as deep in the folds of her vagina so that it would cover my ears and I didn't have to hear her talk. I would much rather have my head burried in an orifice of her body than listen to that horrible fucking caydence.
  • "Whats wrong?, did you get some shoe leather caught in your throat?"
  • The breeding grid is all about fucking. So fucking true. Love how Duncan peels back the layers that hide reality's true nature, everything can seem clearer after his rants.

    One of my faves, not word for word is something like "When you're born, you're ejected out of a vagina, hurtling through the universe towards death at the speed of time". Another fave vagina quote was something like "The vagina is the portal to which all human life emerges out of, the source of life, yet nobody wants to talk about it. You come out of a vagina, and as soon as you're out you're told not to talk about where you came from." Or something like that.

    Loves me a good vagina rant.
    Post edited by andyrosebrook at 2012-02-24 03:36:28
    "Up above aliens hover, making home movies for the folks back home of all these weird creatures that lock up their spirits, drill holes in themselves, and live for their secrets. They're all uptight" -Radiohead
  • “LSD... that’s the teardrops of Jesus”
  • "Once you've been first class Air France, an accidental drone strike on children makes sense."
  • Someone should go to the "Niggas in Paris" episode of The Lavender Hour and take a bunch of quotes out of context for this list.
  • "I love being a carbon molecule."

    -Duncan Trussell



    Not sure what episode it was but Duncan and Joe had me cracking up with their whole bit about that stupid country song like

    "I like being a carbon molecule and if anyone wants to change that they gotta step to me!"
  • Josiah said:

    "I've got 99 problems, and they're all elves."


    Hahaha, now that's a t-shirt!
    BEST idea ever

    "A ship is safe in its harbor, but that's not what ships are for.” - William Shedd
  • They have like the... googly eyes of people, who should be wearing robes, and driving black daggers into the chests of babies. But since they can't do that these days; the way the do it is, they make themselves President. -- Dr. Trussell


    There's some gems about half way into this podcast. :D

    The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. -- Paul Valéry
  • "I love being a carbon molecule."

    -Duncan Trussell



    Not sure what episode it was but Duncan and Joe had me cracking up with their whole bit about that stupid country song like

    "I like being a carbon molecule and if anyone wants to change that they gotta step to me!"


    JRE #139
  • "I love being a carbon molecule."

    -Duncan Trussell



    Not sure what episode it was but Duncan and Joe had me cracking up with their whole bit about that stupid country song like

    "I like being a carbon molecule and if anyone wants to change that they gotta step to me!"


    JRE #139


    The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. -- Paul Valéry
  • "This happens all the time...You run down to the Range Rover, you forgot to drop the baby off at nursery school. Now you've got a mummy in the back seat of your car. Look at Tutankhamun. Samantha is transformed into a wrinkeld, dead, bloated thing with her tounge bulging out. Now you've got the cops there. They're like, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY? DRUG TEST HER!" It's all over the news, you're in jail. Your precious thing that you love more than anything is now dead becuase you were trying to take care of it and you were in too much of a hurry. And now for the rest of your life you're now haunted by this awful, baked potato that was once your love."
  • "Chant all you want FAG FACE, but give me some weed!"
  • The breeding grid is all about fucking. So fucking true. Love how Duncan peels back the layers that hide reality's true nature, everything can seem clearer after his rants.

    One of my faves, not word for word is something like "When you're born, you're ejected out of a vagina, hurtling through the universe towards death at the speed of time". Another fave vagina quote was something like "The vagina is the portal to which all human life emerges out of, the source of life, yet nobody wants to talk about it. You come out of a vagina, and as soon as you're out you're told not to talk about where you came from." Or something like that.

    Loves me a good vagina rant.



    Rough quote from Duncan on Rogan's podcast "The vagina is like an elevator door that could drop you off on a shitty floor."
  • A homeless man with a cum duck in his balls can't run for president.
    How do you capture a beautiful bird without killing its spirit?
  • sandy said:

    "Once you've been first class Air France, an accidental drone strike on children makes sense."



    I love the Air France episode! I coud not stop laughing.
  • Cambo said:

    A homeless man with a cum duck in his balls can't run for president.



    This is true but more because he's poor than because he thinks he has a cum duck in his balls
  • "George Carlin is a black wizard casting existential voodoo curses on the logic circuits of people in theatres"

    Duncan has the best imagery on the planet since Terrence McKenna left.

    I'll never know how someone can come up with a sentence like that in the flow of conversation.
    Post edited by Pizarro at 2012-03-01 11:23:25
  • "Why doesnt that guy shake hands? Sorry i dont feel like slapping tentacles today"

    I love how he breaks down and simplifies our bodies to meat suits and tentacles
    If you're not living for something, you're dying for nothing.
  • "We gotta cut out the fucking middleman"
    If you see Buddha on the forum, ban him.
  • "There ain't no such thing as TIME mah nigga"
  • "Bob Dylan sounds like an old wallet somebody found on the beach"
    " He sounds like a meatball that grew vocal chords"
    Post edited by Gods_Mustache at 2012-03-04 12:51:48
    We elongate our Maaans 'round these parts.
  • "you don't know Desperado????? AAAAEEEEEEEEEIIIIIAAAAAAAAHAHA!!!"
    If you see Buddha on the forum, ban him.
  • SeanM said:

    "The only thing more blue then a texas sky , is the beautiful blue of my grandmas eyes"



    That ep of LH had me rolling.
    I'm not, the dark center of the universe, like you thought
  • Can anyone recall any chunks of the Lavender Hour where Duncan is speaking about nightmares, lucid dreaming or astral projections?
  • "flowers grow on the corpses of children" has to be one of the most profound ways to describe the cyclical beauty of it all

    & his bob dylan rips had me rolling

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