Should I move out?
  • I am 25 years old and just moved back into my parents house. This was after lots of shit roommates, crazy girlfriends, and non-stop partying. Being back at home has put me in a position where I can finally pay of all my bills and finishing college. I was planning on living here for a few years until I get my Bachelor's Degree and save some money, but my best friend just made me a great offer.

    He recently inherited a house and wants to rent me a room for $750 with utilities included. It's a master bedroom with a walk in closet and private bathroom. There is a huge backyard and a pool. It's a quite suburban area located less than 5 miles away from my work and parent's house. I have full time job that I enjoy, and this would only be about 1/3 of my monthly income.

    The only downside is that my friend is a bit of a slob and he associates with a lot of stoners. They hang out in the garage play loud music, which I think is fun sometimes, but I'm seriously trying to focus on my career and finishing college. I'm worried that I might get to easily distracted and lose my motivation to succeed. On the other hand, I might never get a chance to move into a house for so cheap. I would hate to live at my parents until I'm 30, just to move out and rent an apartment for the same price or more.

    What would you do if you were trying to get your shit together?
    Post edited by keyshames at 2012-06-08 11:09:12
  • Not really an answer to your question, but where do you live that $750 a month is cheap?
    Fencesitter, eternal spoil sport.
  • If you're "trying to get your shit together" you should live at your rents, save up as much as you can then get your own place.
  • You just moved back into your parent's place?

    I have to imagine this was a mutual decision between yourself and your parents based on your current situation. Don't just toss that away so you can move into a frat house.

    If you're close to this friend then it sounds like you'll get free access to it whether or not you live there. Is it really worth $750/month for your own bathroom?
  • I live in Socal in the West Valley. I think I should stay home to save money and finish school. Living in a house with a bud would be cool, but ya it's not where I want to be a few years from now.
  • Live in the party house. It sounds like a better experience. If you ever need a night's sleep ask your parents if you can stay over for a night (less than 5 miles away right? You could ride your bike) and you can concentrate on whatever big test or work project you have.
    Living with your parents is no fun.
  • Move out. I'm guessing the friction with the parents at 25+ will be greater than the friction with the friends.

    Plus, you could fuck loudly at the friends house.
  • My parents are very controlling and conservative. If I brought a girl over and shut my bedroom door they'd flip out. Mostly, be cause I have two younger sisters and they think it's a bad example.

    So trying to get laid at my parents is a major buzz kill. Friends don't want to kick it here either.

    But If I can hold out for a few years and get my degree and career in order, I'd be much better off financially. But I already feel like I'm turn into some awkward anti-social nerd.
    Post edited by keyshames at 2012-06-08 11:11:32
  • It is admirable that you are thinking about your career and school and such, but I think you will be much happier moving out. Its not like you are sharing a room with the guy. And if you cant get laid or chill, is it really living? or are you just staying?

    I have a bunch of friends in the same situation and I always wish they would just move out and make it on thier own. They say things like "But dude, we don't have to pay for food or rent or utilities, we are saving lots of money". I reply with "yeah thats true, but how much does the feeling suck when you are pulling up in the driveway and realize that you now have to go into the time portal that is you living in your parents house like its highschool again".

    The other thing my buddies that live with thier parents do is that they spend way to much money on things that they would not be able to afford if they were not living for free. They buy shitloads of weed or beer or video games or whatever.

    They are in my opinion just tricking themsleves into thinking that the situation that they are in is good.

  • Living with somebody is the surest way to destroy a friendship, short of fucking their girlfriend. But living with the parents sucks, too.

    Frankly, if you can afford $750 a month, you should try to get your own place, depending on where you live, of course.
  • I've been in a similar situation for the last few years, my first two years of college I lived on my own, and then moved back in for the next three years. There are definitely pros and cons to each option, I think living at home provides more comfort and stability, but I fell into a trap of laziness and too much dependence on my parents. Living on my own was much more challenging and I think I grew more as a person, and there is a level of freedom that I enjoy that I don't have when I live at home. It depends so much where you think you are in life. When I first moved back home I was ready for the support structure that my parents provided, now I feel that I am ready to move on (and have moved out), so I would encourage you to think about where you feel you will be most successful in achieving your most important goals and go there. But I also think you should have a plan for what you think the next stage of your life should look like, so you don't end up in a rut in either place.
  • @ TomButler Said it best. It is really all about priorities. Do you want more freedom or more security? It's that simple. Decide what is important to you (which I know is sometimes confusing) then make a decision based on what you see in yourself. And know that whatever decision you make will be the best decision you could make. Good luck. Going through something similar right now. I've barely lived away from the rents and I'm leaving for India in a month all by myself. I'm ready though.
  • I did the "live with parent" thing ... it's only a good idea theoretically ... felt strangled during that time, moved out 3 months later. If you don't move in with your friend now... you will move out a couple of months from now anyway. The parent-kid thing when you're an adult has a tendency to erupt into a lot of conflict, in some cases even ruining the relationship with them.
  • they don't want you back...they're being nice.
    Take this as a sign for you to get your shit together, and actually do it despite the odds.
    You can be a responsible person if you choose not to let your surroundings get you down...stay in school and work to clear your debts...stay strong, and independent, and visit your folks, be nice to mom and SHOW them you are maturing and able to stand on your own feet without their assistance...they'll be proud that you are not a shit head who easily influenced by the cheap and easy. Freedom comes with a price, but once paid you can enjoy it. Arms outstretched, accept the world, and embrace all it has to offer, but don't lose your head.
    Eyes that have seen will know what I mean - Todd Rundgren
  • Thanks guys! Lots of great advice to think about. As long as I stay focused on work and school, I realize I will succeed no matter what. It's really up to me to stay responsible and motivated. Sure living with my parents is easy and I can save money. But whats the that worth if I have no personal freedom and lead a boring life? Plus, making it on my own seems much more rewarding, and the experience would make me a stronger more interesting person.
  • whats 3 months of boredom at home for a 3 month cushion of income which is literally priceless.

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