I've heard this before as well, but I certainly ignored and rationalized it away. It seems silly to talk about, but I seriously think this might be a big source of a lot of my problems, especially with the ladies. I've been able to kick vices like hard drugs and MMORPGs, but I probably haven't missed a day whacking it since I was first able to.

Fuck it, coming across this thread is reason enough. I'm going to give it a try.

Darn you Reptilian Brain!!

"Unending novelty."

The Duncan Trussell Family Hour No Jack May Challenge?

@Steve


@Hari_Seldon

We here at the DTFH can be classier than that. How bout: The Duncan Trussell Family Hour Fifth Dimensional Muladhara Transmutation Challenge?

ladychef said:

sexual transmutation:
http://duncantrussell.com/forum/discussion/comment/17622#Comment_17622

pretty interesting about moving the energy in the base chakra up to higher chakras. thanks for referencing that post.

moonanite said:

orgone said:

Moderation is a Vampire.

Think so? How so?

My advice with all things is to do them like you're suffering an ironic punishment in Dante's Inferno. Push yourself beyond your limits. Otherwise you might be one of those people who just half-heartedly does everything in their life, never detecting the little deaths they suffer each day - or getting the most out of positive things, for fear of falling off the fence.

If moderation were the answer, Puritanism would have been a nonstop fun fest.

orgone said:

moonanite said:

orgone said:

Moderation is a Vampire.

Think so? How so?

My advice with all things is to do them like you're suffering an ironic punishment in Dante's Inferno. Push yourself beyond your limits. Otherwise you might be one of those people who just half-heartedly does everything in their life, never detecting the little deaths they suffer each day - or getting the most out of positive things, for fear of falling off the fence.

If moderation were the answer, Puritanism would have been a nonstop fun fest.

So the best way to not suffer is to...SUFFER harder!

nothing wrong with the act IMO, like Stanhope said sometimes you develop a cyst that has to be drained... really interesting vid OP, pretty scary how the 'endless novelty at a click' can change the very structure of the brain. Dopamine and neo-cortexes? I just thought I loved titties.

@xdroh

Good post. It's still my personal philosophy to dive into my unconscious desires AND fulfill them because it's the only way I personally know to truly exorcise them. Telling yourself "That desire isn't apart of ME!!" makes absolutely no sense. Who's desires are these? Why are they there? If you assume nothing about yourself and accept every urge that bubbles up, you can let those bubbles rise to the surface and pop them.

Now I'm not saying you didn't have an unhealthy relationship to pornography, or that it's ever a good idea to start calibrating your sexual desires with the people who hang out on TOR, but you might find these demons haunting you in the future because you have yet to fully purge them.

Just words, you don't have to take them as advice, or very seriously.

@xdroh

Well said, it seems like you've done exactly what I'm talking about. You shook hands with the Devil, and then parted ways. It's the right move.

@xdroh
Nice to see another nofapper :)
I'm currently on day 155. It has taken me 2 tries to get here. I wan't as addicted as you but it was definitely getting worse before I stopped.

Also see this other thread: http://duncantrussell.com/forum/discussion/1664/official-no-fap-challenge-support-thread

@xdroh

Thanks so much for sharing your story which sounds like a classic case of porn addiction. Let me tell you I've been where you were as well and I can definitely identify with the feelings of self loathing and depression that come along with it. Its a hard lesson to learn but sometimes necessary.

I'd like to encourage you not to look at your mishap on the 90-day challenge as a failure. Personally, while i feel no-faps are a step in the right direction, I also think it misunderstands the issue and may cause a harder relapse after a "failure". The goal here (or at least on this challenge) shouldn't be to repress, avoid, ignore, etc. ones sexual desires. Its to act them out in a fully conscious, responsible, and healthy way when needed. Refer to Ladychef's link to her post above about sexual alchemy where it talks about using that life-force in a way that actualizes you instead of diminishes your energy and depresses you. And from your post I can already tell you know a bit about this after using that energy to learn new skills.

@creamyhole <---lulz, how appropriate<br />
I don't think avoiding masturbation is healthy at all. I DO think that the obsession (if it is one with someone) is the unhealthy part and porn can easily be a trigger. Like how you wouldn't eat McDonald's (which is quick and easy food) to maintain your dietary health likewise you wouldn't use porn (quick, easy "sex") to maintain your sexual health...I guess...I'm not an expert on this shit!

@orgone <---also lulz<br />
I agree with some of your sentiment about taking it to the extreme. I'm an all or nothing guy myself but that matches with my temperament (and weak willpower). While it may work for you, me, and xdroh I presume, I don't think everyone has to go to hell and pattycake with Satan before they can arrive at a reasonable way to cope with a vice. Moderation shouldn't be confused with half-assing if the end result is a healthier lifestyle at the end of the road. Its a tool, a methodology that really works for some people. I can think of a friend right now who is quitting smoking and has gone down over the course of a few weeks from a pack a day, to 7 cigs, to 5, and now I think he's at around 3 (so he says). But that's just anecdotal but there are proven systems out there. Everyone copes differently.





And I should say I'm not claiming to be an authority on this stuff BUT these are things I've discovered through my own suffering and addiction. I'll post some more research on the whole sex alchemy/transmutation thing as I research it. In the meantime post your own stories and information here. I think we could build a real experiment here. And as always many thanks for your posts!

I just came to the realization I am addicted to porn as well and I am going to attempt to go 30 days without porn or and orgasm.

wandering_womb said:

well I feel as though I am becoming almost, numb to porn. Since I am regularly sifting through images for my sex blog, the sight of them barely do anything for me. I think that giving myself 30 days will make me crave it again, and then after, I can better regulate how often I am on the site.

Virtual-tolerance? Nothing is better than the real thing, I wouldn't have anything to worry about

So, does this mean don't masturbate at all?

I'm skeptical of unattractive people giving me advice about sex...

v I like this video here. It seems like this woman, as well as giving the PRICELESS, rarely uttered woman's perspective, has a great stance of moderation toward porn. That's where it's at - an assertive, sexually successful woman with advice to share; not some weird, ugly scientist giving data points and biased anecdotes about the "dangers of pornography" or the probably exaggerated successes of pornographic abstinence.


I think you guys might enjoy this one -

wandering_womb said:

what's wrong with having sex the way you see it in hardcore porn though? o.O

le website she ^ was talking about

Wow thanks for posting this, what an interesting synchronicity. I recently decided to take a break from masturbation and internet porn. Lasted about 10 days. I got really excited to watch some again and expected to have a nirvanic orgasm like I'll get with my girlfriend.

I actually had a very weak orgasm, blew a massive gallon of a load, and felt like shit afterwards. I just remember looking at the massive load I'd left on a nearby towel and thinking "urg what a waste of good vita, I could have shot this into a vagina and I'd probably feel awesome right now"


Then I found myself wanting to go jack off constantly again and becoming aroused at the tiniest thing, someone mentioning sex, a video with a woman I found sexy, a trigger word like "redhead," actresses I have "crushes" on. I also noted that in the week of withholding from masturbation I had way more energy, was way more productive, and generally less anxious.

I'm going back to the not jacking it to confirm my suspicions. I don't think masturbation or pornography are bad or immoral things now, but I do think there's a reason why most world philosophies tell you to abstain from masturbating and the importance of withholding your seed for as long as possible. I like the metaphor of comparing it to losing a few ounces of blood every time you cum.

Also I feel like porn has caused me to always think when my girlfriend and I have sex we need to be pile-driving and hard pounding and throat fucking and doing crazy acrobatic shit when sometimes just laying there and slowly moving against each other is a much more remarkable and pleasurable experience. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you gotta just shove her into the corner of a couch and gorilla fuck her, but sometimes...well sometimes my friends...

Heeee said:

Day 11 so far without fapping.

Earlier today he urge was so intense it felt like bolts of electricity were zapping up and down my balls to my head in furious motion. The longer I go, the more intense the thought of a women becomes. Just seeing a girl wearing short shorts makes me want to missionary her so I can dump all my solar plexus chakra energy into her warm moist pocket of nurturing pleasure. The animal urge becomes stronger by the day.

The longer I go, the more I actually like it. Jerking it daily ruins the fun out of looking at a woman's body, all the excitement goes away by spouting our DNA.

Those of you like me whom don't have a girlfriend have it the hardest, we're on the highest possible difficulty level.

Good job man!
Some tips:
Think of something to do when you get the urge. Make it something productive.
Write down rules for yourself, think of what kind of excuses you might make up when tempted and make rules against them. If you don't make concrete rules you will probably find that your brain comes up with all kinds of excuses when you get the urge.
Good luck! :)

ItsLeeOwen said:

ladychef said:

@ItsLeeOwen, sounds like you might be needing a wank, love.

How'd you know? :)

I have no patience for people overdoing things like TV, twitter, facebook, pinterest, alcohol, sex, and then blaming the thing. The thing is fine, the person is broken. Twinkies aren't making anyone fat, they don't have legs, and they aren't crawling into your mouth. Internet porn is unzipping your pants and stroking your dick, when you really need to be doing other things.

Quit being a little bitch dude, and handle your business before pleasure. That's all I really want to say. With love. xoxo

Going to stroke my cock.

And I have no patience for people acting all high and mighty like they have all the answers while shitting on other people. I bet my bottom fucking dollar YOU have some shit that YOU aren't handling right now. Know why? Because we all fucking do! Noones perfect and this whole life is a learning experience. If you can't respond with a little empathy OR at least respond to people as you would face to face (which I assume you wouldn't have the same attitude) then YOU are the one when needs to grow up.

Addiction is just like getting the common cold, both the virus and the weak immunity have to be present to make the person ill. Its not just one or the other its the gestalt of the circumstance.

With that said I agree that shame and guilt are a waste of time. But telling someone to stop "being a little bitch" is just as stupid and useless.

@ItsLeeOwen is there a small piece of you, somewhere way waaay back there, that is just a tad worried that you might be beatin it a little much?