A theory about the apostle Paul
  • I don't know if this is already a theory or if somebody else came up with it already, but I can't sleep and I just thought of this. The apostle Paul started out as Saul of Tarsus, and persecuted Christians around Jerusalem. Then he claimed to see a blinding flash and see Jesus in resurrected form on the road to Damascus, and Jesus said "Why do you persecute me?" After that, Paul converted, became an influential Christian and wrote letters to a bunch of churches. But like Duncan says, many of his letters say things like "Women should should the fuck up!" and "God hates gay people, that shit's gross!" and neither of these statements align with Jesus's teachings.

    So my idea is that maybe Paul thought instead of persecuting Christians, a better way to destroy Christianity would be to infiltrate it and pervert the message of Jesus. Maybe Paul thought that destroying the message was better than destroying the followers; so he made up the road to Damascus experience to gain favor with early Christians and give himself a "chosen" status and then wrote the Pauline Epistles. He got rid of the radical, paradigm-shifting ideas that Jesus had about not judging people, women's equality, loving your neighbor as yourself, and not casting the first stone, and created the Cult of Loon Loon. Without Paul there wouldn't be the Rick Santorum type Christians who rage against homosexuality and all kinds of other shit, because there would be no biblical basis for it. Without Paul, Catholics would've let women enter the priesthood. Without Paul, Christianity would be pretty fucking cool.

    I know it's a stretch and there's no way to prove it but I just thought it was an interesting idea. What do you think?
  • I think you might be on to something there.

    Seriously.
  • without Paul Christianity would be pretty fucking cool ?!

    did you read the rest of the old testament? most of what isn't deleterious, which is A LOT, is just obscure and meaningless.

    but i like your theory.

    ahh fuck, Lady beat me to the punch and also elucidated the ol' burden of nescience in an enlightening sorta way.
    Post edited by fnord at 2012-04-18 09:21:50
    sunt lacrimae rerum
  • I've read the old testament, but in many ways Jesus seems to try to distance himself from it. When some people asked him what the most important commandment is, he just makes up a new one lol. His statement "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" is a huge departure from Old Testament morality. You could take Matthew 5:17-20 to mean that Jesus is advocating Old Testament laws, but the fact is that most christians don't follow the old testament. You'd be hard pressed to find a christian today who thinks it's ok to stone their child to death for being disobedient or that eating shellfish is an abomination. I guess when I say "christianity" I mean the teachings of Jesus, not the whole institution.

    I'm not even a Christian, and I don't think Jesus was divine or anything. He was just a guy with some really cool ideas. And if you don't accept the divinity of Jesus, that means you probably don't accept Paul's vision experience, which means he might have just made it up.

    I think Jesus was obviously wrong about a lot of things, you could almost say that Christianity under Jesus was a doomsday cult. But his idea of loving everybody was pretty cool, and I think the world could have been awesome if christians actually did that instead of what they do now.
  • I'm always suspicious when someone goes from one extreme to another.. like Paul going from a persecutor of Christianity to an advocate of Christianity, or like General Butt Naked becoming a Christian teacher after he initiated countless acts of violence. I understand people can change, but it seems hard to change once you have gone that deep and are a vicious violent offender.

    Cool thread though.. I love that idea for a conspiracy.
  • I don't know if this is already a theory or if somebody else came up with it already, but I can't sleep and I just thought of this. The apostle Paul started out as Saul of Tarsus, and persecuted Christians around Jerusalem. Then he claimed to see a blinding flash and see Jesus in resurrected form on the road to Damascus, and Jesus said "Why do you persecute me?" After that, Paul converted, became an influential Christian and wrote letters to a bunch of churches. But like Duncan says, many of his letters say things like "Women should should the fuck up!" and "God hates gay people, that shit's gross!" and neither of these statements align with Jesus's teachings.

    So my idea is that maybe Paul thought instead of persecuting Christians, a better way to destroy Christianity would be to infiltrate it and pervert the message of Jesus. Maybe Paul thought that destroying the message was better than destroying the followers; so he made up the road to Damascus experience to gain favor with early Christians and give himself a "chosen" status and then wrote the Pauline Epistles. He got rid of the radical, paradigm-shifting ideas that Jesus had about not judging people, women's equality, loving your neighbor as yourself, and not casting the first stone, and created the Cult of Loon Loon. Without Paul there wouldn't be the Rick Santorum type Christians who rage against homosexuality and all kinds of other shit, because there would be no biblical basis for it. Without Paul, Catholics would've let women enter the priesthood. Without Paul, Christianity would be pretty fucking cool.

    I know it's a stretch and there's no way to prove it but I just thought it was an interesting idea. What do you think?



    I used to think the same thing back when I was a boy. Shortly thereafter stopped going to church and by my teen years had dismissed organized religion altogether. Possible alternative theory:Paul is an angry,closeted homosexual whose denial of his urges and love for the teachings of Christ conflict with his Greco-Roman upbringing and whose anger at women stems from not being able to bear children himself.
    Post edited by harrymanbach at 2012-04-21 09:31:49
    “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” -Frank Zappa
  • Matthew 5-7. Fuck everything else. Fuck Saul.
  • Matthew 5-7. Fuck everything else. Fuck Saul.



    agreed! i'm in the midst of a Christian hangover at the moment, coming into a major questioning and an exploration of other spiritual practices after about 25 years of believing in the Bible/going to church. suddenly the bible just doesn't make sense to me anymore and i wonder if it ever actually did... anyway...

    long story short: Matthew 5 through 7 sums up the parts of the Bible i'm actually down with.

  • I think perhaps Paul gets a bad rap. I'm not sure if this is true or not, just one of those nebulous things I've read, but isn't there a theory most of Paul's letters are actually forgeries? Specifically the rule stuff and anti gay and women stuff. Paul was allegedly a gnostic and the literalists twisted his words as they took over the church.

    True or not, I don't know. But there is a small chance Paul was one of the good guys, only to be besmirched and used by the loon loon cultists.
    photo lao-tzu-field1copysmall.jpg
  • Matthew 5-7. Fuck everything else. Fuck Saul.



    i don't know man, i just read it and i disagree with quite a lot. Most of it is good i suppose, but for example - the part where he's all like "if you look at a woman with desire you've commited adultery and you should cut out your eye or cut off your hand" or some shit...

    that's retarded. we're sexual creatures and it seems like a lot of Christianity tries to be "better" than nature, a dangerous game indeed.
    sunt lacrimae rerum

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