ok im high as fuck, and i just wrote what i think is funny material
  • alright, im sorry this is gunna be sloppy as fuck writing and not gunna make much sense, but i high as fuuuuck right now as im trying to type this and im seeing the screen in 3d with layes of dimensions of colors and im kina trippy so anyway, here goes. while i was comin up for the high i thought of this funny joke while watching a sam harris best of video on youtube, and im ont gunna post it cuz i cant right now... anyway...too high, fuck... its so nice by the way godddd fuckin ddayummm....
    so uh um what..... the fuck.. good thing i wronte this down oh ya... the joke i typed in a file and im gunna paste it in here as i typed it just now high. i thought maybe i shoule wait till im sober and then use the right brain cells to turn it into a finished product, but then i thought nah, fuck it, i can always do this later, ill just post this now before i forget and all the trouble i went to to catch this net in this er... this fish in this net will have gone to waste. im not even goin backwards with delte can ya tell/?? hahahahaaaa
    so ya here it is. please be brutally honest and tell me exactly what you thin kabout it if you read this far and finish it. its kina long... i want real criticism form you fine folks you fuckers i love on the net.... real talk right there...
    so ya, this might be completely unfunny, and ill figure that out easily when i get sober again, and even in that scenario, this will be worth it cuz it will be funny that i was such a fool like some high newb on somer good herb lol...

    so ya here it s...


    im stupid
    youre stupid
    everyone is
    if you need any proof, just read what people say on the internet. they argue with eachother over stupid topics that arent even relevant to the original point because
    no one possesses the simple communication skills requried to just uh i dont know, make SENCSE!
    just to make a simple argument that contains logic and a natural flow of steps with things like evidence
    no, everyone's ego gets all involved in whatever stance they happened to support last!
    with their silly (examples of innernet slang of brohugging goes here) and their more....
    they start arguing like family members that hate eachother, but of course everyone is safely anonymous in teh comfort of the lazy boy their ass graduated to because
    theyre only burning a third of the calories of a normal adult cuz their sitting in this goddamn chair so much typing on the internet...
    everything becomes a competition and my superhero team is better than your superhero team and my dicks bigger than your dick, oh ya well fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckin...
    and its all hilarious to behold, cuz a lot of them, i swear to god are really pretty funny, and im doin a comedians act here in public for nuthin ya know?
    number 1. if its after 6pm in whatever timezone they happen to be in, or one the weekend no matter what time it is, theyre some level of drunk.
    2. the rest of em or usually high, or abusing prescription drugs. so hardly anyone is just a sober regular person or responsible occasional socail drinker ya knwo?
    so the public is full of idiots is my point. and thats not a joke im pointing the finger directly at everyone in this room no matter why youre here...
    most of you are complete dumbfucks... just so ya know... in case no one ever told ya that before without everntually swingin a deadly weapon at you at some point...
    anyway, so ya, humans are soooo stupid, that we actually have to send people who so desperately want to be free of this insane level of ignorance...
    they want it so bad its their dream job type career for these people ... we send them to a very high quality university, for free sometimes...
    just to slap a phd on their wall and say "this person has a doctorate in philosphy, so he knows what makes sense and what doesnt"
    pilosophy of course includes topics like, oh i dont know, "reason", and "evidence vs proof" type words and
    "scientific experiement and method"... i mean, thats really all these people do. they devot 8 years of the prime of the sexual lives mind you...
    just to be a reasonable person who generally possesses the common sense required to know what is best for humanity as a whole, or even as in self made parts.
    if an alien from another planet came down and knew english and talked to THIS man, this phd man with a 6 figure education, he wouldnt fuck it up.
    hed know what to say and would be honest about it. we could count on him to be base level competent human heing without fucking it up with some stupid emotion.
    and then when one of these guys excels at it more than the rest, he gets famous. he writes books and wins prizes and people make that person a
    millionaire just to do nothing but talk to people in different cities. and sometimes to argue with people who are so lost in the ignorance of a total lack
    of common sense, that they actually believe they are the highly educated ones with the right common sense, and that the REAL guy with common sense is wrong.
    and we call that guy sam harris, or richard dawkins, neil degrasse tyson, or christopher hitchens, god rest his soul... (did ya see the irony there? any hitch fans here?)
    so ya, the best humanity can offer is what we consider a super genius of our kind... hes the best weve got, and all he does is make logical common sense.
    he specializes like a ninjas katana edge sharp, in making sense and knowing whats the right thing to do in a given situation.

    we're THAT stupid. now that is STUpid. chimpanzee stupid. and thats what makes the oringal issue so funny, is that all these innernet arguers and ego clashers
    are just one more stupid fuck who cant make sense without mucking up his opinion with emotions because someone called him a cum drunk taint stain for thinkin that
    the broncos had a better offense in 1882 than the dolphins did. i mean, all the arguments are really just equally as stupid as that...
    i mean, ok, if youre like, "nah mr comedian joke teller fool of entertainment of stupid people, the discussions are far more sophisticated than that"
    ok, to that i would say, "alright, well whats better, im gunna imply i fucked your mother because you dared to say string theory is theoretically impossible with anything other
    than 9 dimensions?
    as if thats any better? get the fuck outta here... were all stupid. and all im doin is tellin the truth. you just dont wanna here this kinda truth
    cuz no one wants to believe theyre not capable of common sense during most exchanges of communication between quote unquote mature adults. we're not
    were just not. and neither am i...
    i keep this bit in my act, and yet ill do what im making fun of here... like within a matter of weaks, maybe tomorrow if the right storm comes up ya know?
    fucking crazy...


    the end. :)

  • and i just posted this in another thread. oh dear. hahaha. im an idiot. this is like a flame out of anything smart i ever said...

    Ghost_Hit said:

    fnord said:

    Ghost_Hit said:

    feeling sadness is awesome when you accept it so fully it has no power over you, your thoughts, emotions, or reactions. thats winning



    +1. that's winning, and that's stoicism. or buddhism. or magick. whatever label you use, it's winning.


    @fnord, ya know, fnord, i want ya to know, that i really look up to ya. i dunno. i just do. i think youre a really cool dude who tries his very best even after he fucks up, and i respect the shit outta that. youre younger than me, you prob havent seen some stuff i have, but thats so unimportant. cuz youre just a cool mutha fucker ya know? i respect how you take care of your son, and how youre open about your struggles, and how you encourage others and i just think youre a goddamn good guy. i really think they should mod ya. and im hith as fuck, and ya, thats prob why this is being expressed right now lolololol... but all bull shit aside including dis dank herb... the herb is the reason why im telling you, not at all an influence on the truth of the words ive just said to you here. ive always thought this, and ill think this tomorrow when im sober about you. every word.

    lastly... kinda a big deal. when you post about your struggles sometimes, it makes me wonder sometimes about your drinkin. and while i know youre kickin ass overall i think, it doesnt sound like youve quite licked that fight yet, and so that concerns me. just wanted you to know. cuz while this is sooooo unimportant, i have beat that fight... for like 15 months now, so dude, if any of that could ever be of help to a guy like you, id totally be your breh there man. full homo hahaha. thanks for the nice compliment too. woo this is some good weed...

  • image
    Post edited by cloud667 at 2013-09-30 03:17:13
    Heavenly Devine
  • You're just skatin on the realm of hyperintelligence and slippin through a little, is all. Nothing wrong with that. Now, take a couple more tokes and build the family a spaceship!
  • @cloud 667 shit. really? god damnit. you may have a point there. lol i could be strokin off here huh... i swear to god though, ever since i heard the analogy from duncan and rogan about writing comedy, which is obviously so very hard... that you should carry a notebook around with you and write the stuff down or youll forget. its like catching a fish. there are fish floating by so bring a goddamn net.

    i always wanted to do that but never did. this is the first attempt of my entire life. so that was the motivation, so dude, it could totally just be exactly what you depicted there and more tho i admit i dont know and cant really judge. thats for everyone else, but dude im glad you cast that vote because it opened me up to that and i hadnt considered that that might be interpretted cuz im so goddamn high right now i cant even type right lol...

    if it is just jerking off, 1. im sorry dude. like really. and 2. will ya please forgive my subconscious pride whatever and just tell me what ya think of the material if youre gunna post any more. pretty please. with a cherry on top. thanks. i mean, im givin ya a free pass to tell me my sense of humor is as funny as the holocaust and im a douchebag cum drunk waste of good carbon who should jump off the rearest cliff, and id say thanks for your opinion man! i really appreciated you took the time to tell me that.... AND MEAN IT??? cua thats what this is hahaha...
    Post edited by GhostScience at 2013-10-01 09:24:22

  • Drake86 said:

    You're just skatin on the realm of hyperintelligence and slippin through a little, is all. Nothing wrong with that. Now, take a couple more tokes and build the family a spaceship!


    @drake86 thanks for that perspective man. the way you put that, i hadnt thought of that either. ive only been tokin otr 2 years
    Post edited by GhostScience at 2013-10-01 09:23:47

  • brevity is the soul of wit breh
  • people being stupid and internet commenters being argumentative is pretty well worn territory.. seems like you're going for a carlin or hicks type vibe but without hearing this delivered it feels generic, im not seeing that many jokes/punchlines , it sounds more like a rambling complaint... it seems overly negative and swear-y for emphasis but that stuff doesnt add up to laughs necessarily. my advice would be try to bring more new original ideas to the table.. or paint more vivid/original images of these people from your own real perspective/experience/examples and make it more your own
    Vote Perot / Titor '92.
  • man thats good stuff ^ and youre right it IS all in the delivery when youre essentially texting jokes like this, but ya i can see truth in what youre saying here. thanks for real.

  • ill turn it into a finished project some time this week maybe and see what that comes out like... on paper haha. if it shows promise, maybe ill pull out a mic and thoroughly humiliate myself for ya'lls enjoyment if its even worth 2 fucks of entertainment in the first place hahaha...

    and i thought about posting the finished product off the RB and subject myself to that barbarism lol... should be good for some laughs
    Post edited by GhostScience at 2013-09-30 14:01:18

  • yeah, you could transcribe a lot of good comedy to text and it just wouldnt have any of the same effect. so thanks for understanding that & taking it well. trying to help with constructive feedback. glad you get that. this is super hard/risky to do, put yourself out like that. keep refining it and keep us updated.
    Vote Perot / Titor '92.
  • This could be interesting...

    I would like to see the video

    With tweak here and a tweak there...a lil bit of polishing...

    we could help build the next big internet sensation...
  • I <3 you all.
    Let's paint a happy little cloud
  • This could be interesting...

    I would like to see the video

    With tweak here and a tweak there...a lil bit of polishing...

    we could help build the next big internet sensation...



    @betteroffhere psh ya... my whole end goal in this entire pursuit would be to be able to stand up at any open mic with a mixed american crowd and kill for 5 solid minutes. just to have the ability and polished original material that i generated would be fuckin way cool thing for the bucket list ya know?
    Post edited by GhostScience at 2013-10-01 09:23:06

  • yeah, you could transcribe a lot of good comedy to text and it just wouldnt have any of the same effect. so thanks for understanding that & taking it well. trying to help with constructive feedback. glad you get that. this is super hard/risky to do, put yourself out like that. keep refining it and keep us updated.



    @regulatops i was reminded yesterday of your comment here again when watching an episode of the colbert report. stephen was reading youtube comments and i realized that ya, if that routine was written down, it would only be SO funny, but when stephen delivers it the way he does... ya its ALL in the delivery...

    this thread is still a lil embarrassing heh heh....

    Post edited by GhostScience at 2013-10-01 09:25:36

  • timing!
    Vote Perot / Titor '92.
  • Ghost_Hit said:

    and thats not a joke im pointing the finger directly at everyone in this room no matter why youre here...
    most of you are complete dumbfucks... just so ya know... in case no one ever told ya that before without everntually swingin a deadly weapon at you at some point.



    image

    Post edited by mormonsoak at 2013-10-01 22:53:17

  • Ghost_Hit said:

    and thats not a joke im pointing the finger directly at everyone in this room no matter why youre here...
    most of you are complete dumbfucks... just so ya know... in case no one ever told ya that before without everntually swingin a deadly weapon at you at some point.



    image



    Hahahaha yes
  • Yeah man you musta been quite high indeed! hah, I can relate, I recall writing some things baked out of my gourd and they had a similar style to what you posted.

    Ok i'm reading now that these are essentially notes for standup, which makes sense. Next time maybe try breaking up the wall of text? i see good pieces of insight but they blur together, kind of a challenge to read honestly
  • I'm going to steal it!
  • any asshole can post a wall of text.performing on a stage and uploading it to YouTube, now that takes cojones. come on @ghost_hit be somebody!
  • Cut it down to the bones man. I tried to read it all but it's too much. Keep writing the jokes and funny quips. You know what funny is. Takes time.
    Post edited by chrisbones at 2013-10-02 02:36:04

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